My Journey to Forty

Yesterday I turned thirty-nine years old. It's funny because I don't feel thirty-nine. I'm not even sure what thirty-nine should feel like. I've always felt age was just a number, but the past few years I've realized that while you can feel young at heart time does not go on forever. I guess that is what thirty-nine feels like - reflective with an urgency to make life matter and embrace the moments that are quickly passing by. 

I began feeling this way about three years ago. Not really because of my age, but because I three significant people I knew or knew of died within months of one another. Each person was of a different age with different backgrounds, life experiences, family lives and causes of death. However, each one solidified the feeling that life is a gift and each day should be celebrated as such. With this in mind I decided I wanted to complete forty things I've always wanted to do before I turned forty.

I'm a dreamer but I'm also fearful of many things, so my forty before forty list was a great conversation starter and an inspiration to many, yet I never got started because I finish what I start and I knew once I began there would be no turning back. So yesterday when I turned thirty-nine, I kept looking at my iPad to write this blog and came up with excuses of why I shouldn't. 

"It's too late now. You can't do all forty things in one year."

"You don't have the time, money or guts to follow through."

"No one cares to read about your experiences, so why bother?"

As I let these thoughts toss back and forth in my mind, I thought back to what I felt when I mourned the loss of those three people a few years back. I thought of the things they probably wished they had done but didn't get the time and realized my birthday yesterday was a gift. This moment is a gift and every moment after now is another gift for me to do something with. It's not about finishing the list or having a bunch of followers, it's about starting my journey and really living. It's about not just staring at the gift in its packaging but about opening it and using it.

So here is my list...let me just say that when you have fears like mine, especially the fear of failure a list of forty is very difficult to write. My goal is to complete as many as possible before I turn forty and to document my journey, the successes and failures. If anyone would like to help or do any of them with me, I'd love the encouragement or company because another gift in life is the people you share it with.

Please note these are not in any specific order.

1. Stand on a cliff overlooking the ocean

2. Touch the Pacific Ocean

3. Finish writing a novel

4. Self-publish finished novel

5. Run a 5k

6. Snorkel

7. Volunteer for a non-profit organization

8. Complete Disaster ReliefTraining

9. Volunteer after a natural disaster

10. Zip line

11. Take dance lessons

12. Stand up paddle board

13. Learn to make jewelry

14. Drive a convertible

15. Beat a video game

16. Sing Karoke in front of strangers

17. See an animal give birth

18. Hike in the mountains

19. Watch people surf in person

20. Grow a vegetable garden

21. Refinish a piece of furniture

22. Cut my hair short

23. Color my hair

24. Host a mystery dinner party

25. Get out of debt

26. Go on a short term mission trip

27. Write/direct/edit a short movie

28. Get a shout out on social media from a favorite celebrity

29. Build something from scratch

30. Drink nothing but water for 30 days

31. Eat a vegetarian diet for two weeks

33. Drop two pant sizes

34. Exercise three times a week for at least three consecutive months

35. Renew my wedding vows

36. Take a selfie with something or someone great

37. Begin a non-profit

38. Try at least fifty things I've pinned on Pinterest

39.  Start my own small business

40. Fly on an airplane